In the mood for an action-packed crime story in the style of the old pulp fiction classics?  Then you’d better gear up for my latest e-book from Pie Press, Crimes in the Key of Murder.  It stars Sister Mayhem, a crime-fighting nun leading a team of experts called the Order of No Mercy.  Here’s the awesome cover by Britain’s own Battling Ben Baldwin:

You can order it here for the Kindle, here for the Nook, and here for most other e-reader formats.  The story goes like this:  

Nobody cares who killed a down-on-his-luck piano player…except his brother, who happens to work for the crimefighting detective Sister Mayhem. Tearing up the underworld with her network of operatives–the Order of No Mercy–Sister Mayhem will stop at nothing to catch the killer. She’s a master of disguise, a genius investigator, and a force of nature, but when the trail leads to a band of dirty-dealing musicians, she might have met her match. Lead singer Sheila Venus has genius, skills, and feminine wiles to rival Sister Mayhem’s. Did her dark schemes lead to murder, or was the killing played in a different key echoing from a bloody, secret past? Sister Mayhem pulls out all the stops to solve the case and catch the killer, unless she becomes the next victim first. Don’t miss this thrill-a-minute crime saga by award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected crime fiction and mysteries that really pack a punch.

A fantasy tale of mine, “Playing Doctor,” has become an audio podcast!  You can find this tale right here at the nerve-tingling, mind-expanding, one-and-only Escape Pod.  It’s a fun, crazy, and very dark–yet ultimately uplifting–story about a mad scientist and her madly-in-love lackey and their twisted lives together.  Here’s a little more info to whet your whistle: Can a gnarly lab assistant find love with his smoking hot mad scientist boss? Faithful lab lackey Glugor lusts after sexy Dr. Medici, but Dr. M only cares about taking over the world. She uses him like a glorified guinea pig, turning him into rampaging monsters and strapping him into inventions gone horribly wrong. Poor Glugor takes the heat when the doomsday schemes blow up in his face…but can even the power of his secret passion stand between Dr. M and the deadliest doom of all? It might take a monster of an experiment to build the heart Glugor needs to save his heart’s desire.

How about cracking open another six-pack?  My new e-book, 6 More Fantasy Stories, is now available for all e-reader formats.  Get a load of this dandy six-packy cover featuring images from the illustrious Ben Baldwin:

Click here for the Kindle edition, here for the Nook version, and here for all other versions.  Here’s a little about what you’ll find inside this collection of stories:

In these pages, Robert T. Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you’ve never imagined. You’ve never met anyone quite like Tizona, the talking sword of the Spanish warrior El Cid…Omar Wild, the dying jazzman whose tunes foretell the future…Terpsichore the muse, who creates a monster when she makes a certain piper a medieval idol…Virgil the mind reader, who sees terrifying visions through the eyes of his true love…Alice, who finds that Wonderland can be a nightmare for grown-ups…and Vincent, an artist haunted by creatures with top hats for heads.

Don’t miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising fantasy tales by a Doctor Who author who was nominated for the British Fantasy Award.  This volume includes six fantasy e-book stories and novelettes for one low price:

“The Sword That Spoke”: Once upon a time, the sword Tizona helps the warrior knight El Cid cut a swath through the Moors invading Spain. But El Cid doesn’t know the great sword’s secret: that it has a mind of its own and talks only to his beautiful wife, Jimena. When woman and blade unite, can they free the legendary hero from a demon’s wicked clutches?

“Dionysus Dying”: Jazz star Bobby Ball sees the future when he plays his sax.  The music of his dying idol, Omar Wild, throws open the door to tomorrow, but Bobby doesn’t like what he sees. A faded torch singer will die unless Bobby plays an impossible song, one that will force him to go solo in a race against time and the fight of his life.

“Groupie Everlasting”:  Terpsichore the muse has a thing for musicians. Her passion breathes life into the careers of stars from the Pied Piper of Hamelin to a modern-day guitar hero. But when the latest in her long line of superstar finds flames out, Terpsichore must tap her own inner wild child for inspiration.

“Girl Meets Mind Reader”: When Virgil the mind reader falls in love with Bridget, he discovers he can see the world through her eyes. But the world she shows him is full of things that shouldn’t be there.

“The Return of Alice”: Alice has had a lousy life since she left Wonderland. All grown up and trapped in an unhappy marriage, she longs to escape. But when she finally manages to leap through the mirror, she finds that the Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat, Tweedledum and Tweedledee are out for blood.

“Vincent’s Secret Students”: Beings from beyond time and space torment an artist on the brink of madness as part of an incredible quest. Will their bizarre visions drive Vincent completely over the edge, leaving him lost forever, even as they inspire the most amazing work of his life? Only the Notfolk know.

A whacked-out new scifi story of mine, “The Secret of the Ultimate Male Enhancement,” appears in the new issue of Space and Time magazine.  Here’s the cover:

Click here to reach the Space and Time website and order up a copy!  Just remember, the story is intended for mature readers only (as you might imagine).  It’s a weird scifi comedy tale told from a truly bizarre point of view, and it’s not meant for kids.  If you’re an adult who enjoys South Park and Family Guy, this story’s for you…and I think you’ll love it!

In the mood for a slice of fantasy adventure?  My new e-book, The Sword That Spoke, is now on sale!  Check out the glorious cover by blazing Ben Baldwin, illustrator extraordinaire:

Pretty groovy, huh?  Here’s a little about the story: Once upon a time, the sword Tizona helps the warrior knight El Cid cut a swath through the Moors invading Spain. But El Cid doesn’t know the great sword’s secret: that it has a mind of its own and talks only to his beautiful wife, Jimena. Together, Tizona and Jimena help El Cid wage his battles, until a demon of war takes possession of his body and soul. When woman and blade unite, can they free the legendary hero from the demon’s wicked clutches?  Or will the shadow of the horrors of war overcome all of them?  Perhaps, in the sword’s cryptic prophecy, lies a secret that will turn the tables of history, love, and death.

If you like A Game of Thrones or The Lord of the Rings, you might get a charge out of The Sword That Spoke.  You can find it here for the Kindle, right here for the Nook, and here for most other formats.  Give it a try and see if it makes the cut on your recommended reading list!

It’s time for another six-pack…of stories, that is.  The latest collected edition of my science fiction tales is now available from the one and only Pie Press, titled (appropriately enough) 6 More Scifi Stories.  Get a load of the cover, a mix of images by the incorrigibly awesome Ben Baldwin:

This is my 41st e-book title (big 50, here we come!), and you can find it by clicking right here for Kindle, right here for Nook, and here for all other available formats.  It’s a pretty great deal, if I do say so–five full-length scifi stories and a short-short for the low price of $2.99.  Normally, the full-length stories sell separately for 99 cents each, so you’ll be saving a couple bucks if you order this nifty collection.

Here’s a rundown of the stories within, to whet your appetite:

In these pages, Robert T. Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you’ve never imagined.  You’ve never met anyone quite like Nona Stiletto, the sexy cyborg exterminator who takes on a planet of alien monsters…Thal Simoleon, baseball player of the future, condemned to death for losing the world series…Cilla Franklin, an American teacher whose students are naked killer savages…Mike the Future Man, a high tech time traveler fighting to find a missing child…Vicky Dozen, the bioengineering genebilly whipping up rhinoporcupines in Best Virginia…or Philippa the cross-dressing Conquistadora of outer space.

Don’t miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales by a Star Trek and Doctor Who author.  It’s the latest collection from award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch.  This volume includes six scifi e-book stories and novelettes for one low price:

“One Awake in All the World”:  Stalked by hordes of savage creatures, space exterminators Nona Stiletto and Pass Candle fight a war for survival against impossible odds. Their only hope: an abandoned alien child who might be the last of her species left alive.

“Give the Hippo What He Wants”:  In the baseball league of the future, losing the World Series will get you the death penalty.  Thal Simoleon choked because of an opera-singing pink hippo that only he can see.  But when he goes on the run, he can’t escape that damn hippo, which just might be leading him toward the final inning of his life.

“Teacher of the Century”:  Welcome to the school of tomorrow, a nightmare of high-tech savagery.  Tribes of genetically and cybernetically enhanced students rule the classroom.  Weaponized parental A.I. drones terrorize teachers.  One teacher stands alone against the insanity, but her old-school ways might be the death of her.

“Off the Face of the Earth”:  When a little boy disappears off the face of the Earth, his good-for-nothing father turns over a new leaf and sets out to track him down…but it takes a strange visitor from the future to point him in the right direction.

“Something Borrowed, Something Doomed”:  The wildshiners of Best Virginia make bioengineering seem like magic. But the genebillies of the prank-loving Dozen family take it too far when they start out wrecking a wedding and end up bringing on the apocalypse.

“The Cross-Dressing Cosmic Cortez Rubs Off”:  Philippa the cross-dressing space Conquistadora will do anything for ratings, but can an alien king change her heart with his mystical secrets?

Okay, I’m talking about issue 37, not warp 37…as in issue 37 of Star Trek Magazine, which features an article of mine.  You should be able to find a copy at your local bookstore or newsstand right about now.  It looks like this:

My article focuses on season 3 of the Star Trek: Enterprise series…you know, the one that starred Scott Bakula?  It’s part of an overview of every Star Trek TV series and movie in honor of the 45th anniversary of the franchise.  I’m very happy to be part of the celebration.  As some of you might recall, I’ve been a huge fan of Trek since I was a kid.  It’s pretty cool to be able to keep that fandom alive in some small way.  Many thanks to editor Paul Simpson for bringing me aboard for this comprehensive study of 45 years of spacefaring fun.

So beam down to your local bookstore, snag yourself a copy of Star Trek Magazine #37, and set your phaser on “buy.”  If you’ve ever enjoyed the Trek universe, I know you’ll get a kick out of this great retrospective of the many great adventures it has provided.

It’s time to celebrate a momentous occasion:  the publication of my fortieth e-book!  Here’s the cover, by the outrageously talented Ben Baldwin!

Okay, so it’s not number fifty, but we’ll get there soon.  For now, it’s a good thing to mark this milestone, to remember how far we’ve come.  The book, Something Borrowed, Something Doomed, features a story that originally appeared in my collection, Mad Scientist Meets Cannibal (love that title!) and became an awesome audio podcast featured on The Drabblecast.  (If you haven’t heard it yet, do yourself a favor and check it out by clicking right here.)  Here’s a little about this cool science fiction story: 

The wildshiners of Best Virginia make bioengineering seem like magic, whipping up incredible hybrid creatures like rhinoporcupines and exotic environments straight out of a fairy tale. But the genebillies of the prank-loving Dozen family take it too far when they start out wrecking a wedding and end up bringing on the apocalypse. “Till death do us part” will come a lot sooner than expected—for the whole damn world—unless the bride, Vicky Dozen, can use her wildshiner skills to weave together what her whack-job brothers have torn asunder. But first, she must solve the ultimate mystery, bringing to light the deepest secret of her family, a secret rooted in the very genetic material that gives her life meaning.

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So what do you think?  If you’re interested, you can find it right here for the Kindle, right here for the Nook, and right here for all other formats.  Give it a read and let me know how it goes down.  And remember, it’s e-book number 40 from the Robert T. Jeschonek Library.  That might not seem like an especially significant number to celebrate, but when you remember that I only started e-publishing in February 2010, it seems like a pretty impressive milestone.  In 20 months, I’ve published 40 titles.  Not bad.  And I’ve got lots of exciting new releases roaring over the horizon in the months to come, all from Pie Press.  I hope you’ll join me as the adventure continues.

It’s official!  Tommy Puke, the world’s most disgusting kid, is the star of his own line of merchandise!  The goodies just went live at Cafe Press, right here.  You’ll find t-shirts, hats, mugs, key chains, all sorts of sweet swag…all of it graced with Tommy’s handsome image.  Best of all, there’s more to come.  Pie Press will be adding more great stuff to the line in the weeks ahead, featuring Ben Baldwin’s fabulous artwork from the pages of Tommy Puke and the Boy with the Golden Barf.  With the holiday season just a few short months away, can you think of a more perfect gift for the kids you know, or the grown-ups who are kids at heart?  Tommy Puke marches on, bigger, better, and grosser than ever.  And don’t forget, his e-book is still available right here for the Kindle, here for the Nook, and here for everything else.  Puke on with your bad self!

In the mood for some Road Rage?  Then get yourself a copy of my new e-book, featuring this glorious high-octane cover by the one and only Ben Baldwin:

Road Rage is a full-tilt, pedal-to-the-metal, screaming-tire horror tale in the spirit of Stephen King.  Most of the story is one high-stakes, high-speed chase, as the ultimate road-rager tears up the highway on his way to a terrible fate. Here’s the nutshell: 

Pray you never see Walter Haskell’s headlights in your rear-view mirror. This road-raging vigilante roars up and down the highway, burning rubber as he guns for reckless drivers with his fast and furious moves. Walter plays for keeps in his war to make the roads safe—and redeem himself for a terrible accident that totaled his life. But one night, the road warrior becomes a moving target, as the actual highway comes to life and strikes back. It’s the ultimate case of road rage as the haunted pavement turns against Walter, racing him through a nightmare journey where the final exit is Hell itself.

Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? You can pick up a copy for your Kindle right here…and other formats (Apple, Sony, Kobo, etc.) right here. I hope you’ll give it a try. Just stay off the road for an hour or two after you read it, until the residual rage wears off.